Nashvillian Christy Pruitt-Haynes knows firsthand the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with watching your child leave the nest: the high of celebrating as they receive their college acceptance letters, the heartbreak of saying goodbye when you leave their dorm room, and the bittersweet excitement of watching them grow into the adult you always knew they could be.
And, as the title of her new book puts it best, Pruitt-Haynes knows that all of these complex emotions are accompanied by the realization: I Have to Pay for This Shit. A children’s book parody, Pruitt-Haynes wrote I Have to Pay for This Shit to help empty nesters adjust as they send their kids off to college, while depicting the emotional and financial distress that comes with it. Inspired by her own experience sending her daughter, Christiana, off to her dream college this fall, Pruitt-Haynes captures all the laughs and tears families face in this hilariously heartwarming rhyming storybook.
Life Imitates Art: This experience and these emotions started when my niece left for college. My sister and I get the honor of playing big roles in both of our girls’ lives, so when either of the girls move, the entire family feels it. When Nia, my niece, left for college... for the first time I began to understand what it felt like to have the most important people out of your reach. The closer we got to [my daughter] Christiana’s college applications, acceptances, and graduation, my level of anxiety went through the roof: first about her leaving, then very quickly about the reality of paying for it. I had to figure it out while feeling the most extreme emotions ever. The idea for the book first came to me when Christiana was accepted to her top choice school, but I wrote it in one sitting. I realized new parents get so much support from people who understand how their life is changing, but that same type of community and resources aren’t available to empty nester parents, and we need it!
Page Turner: Readers can expect all the conflicting emotions of joy and sadness associated with your kids doing what we’ve wanted them to do for years. It is a wonderful walk down memory lane from the moment they were born, to when they first learn to walk, all the way to the moment they leave the nest. Readers will both laugh and cry, but more than that, they will understand and see their lives reflected on every page. The phrase “laughter is the best medicine” comes to mind. Comedy is how I deal with the tough parts of life. I know once I can laugh about something, I can make it through. I wanted this book to make parents (as well as aunts, uncles, grandparents, and students) laugh about what could be a very emotional moment. It’s not all sad; there is a lot of joy in seeing your child move through life, and I wanted this book to remind everyone of that.
Words of Wisdom: I truly hope the takeaway for everyone is that it’s OK to have conflicting emotions. It is normal to feel happy, sad, worried, and excited at the same time—all while you are a little hurt at the size of the check you may be writing. But most importantly, I want parents (as well as the people who support them) to understand they are not alone. We are a community of current or future empty nesters. When we transition into parenthood the entire world seems to rally around us and offer support and advice, but when we transition from active day-to-day parenting to parenting from afar, we often feel alone. I hope this book reminds people they aren’t alone. We are all here to support each other and while most people rally around our kiddos, we need a bit of rallying and support too. I remind myself and other parents every day: we aren’t letting go; we’re just changing our grip. This is the time in our kids’ lives where they get to fly with a safety net, and we get the honor of being their safety net.